“While we’re talking, let me offer you some free advice:
TALK LESS. Smile more.
Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for.
You wanna get ahead?
Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead.
If you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for?”
– “Aaron Burr, Sir”
After five rollercoaster years of Shadowrunning for Catalyst Game Labs, my ass finally got gently but firmly fired by my boss, polite Mormon literature buff Jason M. Hardy for reasons I arguably deserved: shit-posting about his company, his products, and a few of my co-workers anonymously on another, obscure forum.
On a personal note: I did not react well:
It wasn’t just because I got fired from the single thing I’ve most dreamed about doing since I was ten years old: there was other bad shit going on too in my life, within the same two days. Some part of me just decided fuck it.
And I was not sober.
And I happened to be holding a huge fucking knife (I’ve since had it thrown out of the house).
I did something stupid to myself with a knife. It was either the most extreme “gestural cutting” ever or the most weak sauce “suicide attempt” ever. Not sure. Anyway, I was as bad at trying to end my own life as I am at most things so I’m fine.
(Really I’m fine. No mortal danger. No suicidal ideation. Girlfriend made me an awesome field dressing Best friend who’s an RN on his way over with a high-tier medical kit right now. Don’t worry about me. I’m more embarrassed at my loss of control than anything else.)
The Good News
The upshot of this emotionally and physically painful firing means all of my time is free to work on and think about End Transmission Games and to freelance for other companies looking for kick-ass Shadowrunners. Shadowrun will always, always, always be a part of my <3heart<3, even if I can’t be officially involved with it ever, ever again.