PHANTASM(2016) (or Whereas: “I Am Sick Of People Being Sick Of My Shit”)

“If you are not into the wacky hi-jinks then
why the hell are you into this?
Information wants to be free
charged particles expand through space
then bleed through greedy fingers
and explode in your face
I can’t wait.

Fuck yes, I went there.

What’s about 220 pages, full color, and available right here, for free and forever?


This ENnie Award Nominated Motherfucking Roleplaying Game, Biatch.

Everything janky about Phantasm(2010) should be blamed solely on me: it used to be just a dumb PDF I wrote to sit around a table and roll some dice over because my teenage ass wanted needed to know what the stats for four-barreled shotguns and hunter-killer spheres were. Its nomination for the 2013 ENnie Awards can be SOLELY credited to the LITERALLY INCOMPARABLE Mikaela Barree.

In closing:

“You feel you’re being cheated?
It’s more that you’re not needed.
Isn’t it bad enough I buy shit from WotC?

Your cut is nothing cause I gave it away
Tonight, today, now!

Sound wants to be free
It wants to sing over everything
I know you’ve tried so hard to package joy
You try so hard to sell us things which are already ours
Like the bones in my ears
Like the air in my lungs
And all the things you’ll never know . ..”

In more closinger:

Phantasm V: Ravager comes out in theaters on Friday.

See it or the ghost of Angus Scrimm will send a chrome orb to fruit fuck your brain (I would say ‘to death’, but that’s understood).


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